


I don't want you to leave. // I'll be here if you let me.

by Iammissingautumn



Category: Dungeons and Daddies (Podcast)
Genre: Angst and Comfort, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:27:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25855093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iammissingautumn/pseuds/Iammissingautumn
Summary: Grant feels alone and Terry Jr. keeps finding him.
Relationships: Terry Jr. & Grant Wilson (Dungeons and Daddies)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32





	I don't want you to leave. // I'll be here if you let me.

"So… joining football, now?"

The air is stale, they sit in a bedroom that Grant often refused to leave. He left for dinners and school. The window closed, dark curtains drawn. Grant could remember when he was younger and how he used to have light yellow curtains that would flow with the wind that passed inside. He could remember being much too small and trying to hide in them while his dad had called his name around the house. In hindsight, he was sure Darryl knew where he hid when they played hide and seek, but he always was sure to find his mom before he found Grant. Which at the time, led Grant to feel like the  _ best  _ hide and seek player. Now, it was more like he hid and no one came to look. 

Besides Terry.

"Yeah, I… I mean we got done with school and I fucking hate being stuck here so…" Grant shakes his head, looking away from Terry. "It just seemed like something that would be cool." 

"... But it's at your new school right?" 

Grant nodded, fiddling with a loose thread on the hem of his shirt. "Yeah, it's a sorta private school. They decided in between their bullshit that I needed more one on one time. They found a school that was fairly liberal and decided that that was perfect. I mean Henry said that it could be too soon but I said that that sounded great and dad basically jumps at anything he thinks I like. So it was said and done."

"Wait, you  _ want _ to go?" Terry had heard about the whole thing while his mom and Ron had been making dinner. Quiet voices, well as quiet as Ron  _ could  _ be, with concerned tones. "Why not stay in our school? I'm on football, you wouldn't be completely alone and I could teach you a ton."

Grant scoffed, pulling at the string. "I'm not gonna be alone, and if I am I don't care. I'll meet people."

The mention of it, it skewed his plans. The image of doing what he had at Supper Bowl but with Terry around. He would know something was up, and even though it was much easier when he was just around the team it was also much different. It was easier to get out of his own head and it felt like a team, though it didn't help that there were countless times someone yelled a bit too loud or said something and he was right back in Four Knights. Blood covered as he realizes with wide eyes that he's the reason someone else is gone. Those are the days he hates that his dad is so involved, the days when he cracks just a little, and goes back to hiding. 

Terry stands from the chair from Grant's desk, moving over to the bed, putting some space between the two so Grant wouldn't completely retreat. Which he didn't really, Grant sat there looking down at his shirt and not saying a thing. Now after the passive-aggressive tone, he had had before, Terry had assumed he would be a bit less okay with him coming closer. But he only seemed to stiffen. Which made Terry wonder when was the last time someone hugged Grant.

"I mean jeez Grant, I'm sure you will. I was just saying, I like playing with you. You're a strong player and I like being your friend and I don't want you to get hurt." Terry was trying to figure out where Grant was exactly, sure he was sitting on his bed with the lamp's light being the only way he could see him. But he seemed so much stiffer than he had been months ago. Terry wasn't sure how long they were in the Forgotten Realms in the time there but before he had met up with him again, before being kidnapped. He had just been Grant, a little apathetic but you just had to push him a bit and he'd talk about his game and everything to do with it. 

Back then that was comforting, it felt nice just sitting back and listening to Grant go on. Terry wasn't expected to say anything or be anything. He didn't have to think about his family, he could just think about this thing that Grant liked. And it had made things much easier back then.

But they didn't do that anymore, if anything it sometimes felt like he was talking to a wall. And sure he knew Grant was struggling, his mom had said he could be depressed. And sure Terry's mom was a therapist but he was hoping he wasn't doing that badly. It had been a nightmare when he had been in that spot. 

Grant sighed, sitting up a bit more. He seemed to be thinking a lot as he bit his lip and Terry wouldn't be surprised. He swore that's all Grant did anymore. 

"Terry, come on. You don't have to say shit like that. I mean I like hanging out with you and it's all fun but you don't have to… offer anything to me. Like we had a fun time while we hung out there and it's cool playing with you but we don't have to be friends. Okay? Like you don't have to keep coming here and checking on me or stuff like that." 

Terry thought the response was almost laughable, despite Grant's serious tone, it was much easier to take it as a joke than anything else. But it wasn't a joke. And that just made Terry clench his fist. Grant didn't know the next thing Terry was feeling or why he did what he did, him pretending like he knew  _ shit _ was stupid. 

"Don't fucking be like that. I'm here because I genuinely care about you and I'm not here to throw the pity party you think I am. I think you're cool and I had fun being around you. I'm putting it on the table, all upfront, I like you. I genuinely want to be your friend and stop you from being stupid and hurting yourself like you did back in the forgotten realms and you can't make up shit because you don't want someone around. You don't know  _ anything _ about what I'm feeling or what I want and I could be practicing or studying or playing  _ some _ shitty game or whatever. But I didn't want to do that. I wanted to come and hang out with you. And we might not know each other well, like the real earth us, but I'd like to try because you're the only sane kid that got out of there with me and I want to keep you that way." 

Terry's words were messy, he was only a few months into seeing a therapist and it was hard putting his stuff to words, especially on the spot. But his mom had recommended it and Ron said it could be good and Terry took that leap and he had liked it so far. His anger wasn't so sharp, which made it easier to do something like this. He didn't like how he worded a handful of his points and he was sure that this wouldn't help a thing because Grant was looking at the wall in the direct opposite position of Terry. He was ready to be told to leave or be insulted or something. Grant could… do just about anything. Terry wanted to be here but he couldn't make Grant want his help, and he doubted his words were good enough to persuade that.

"You mean that? This isn't something your parents are making you do or something?" Grant asked, and really he was scared to get his hopes up, to think someone on his level cared for him. Especially after The Supper Bowl, it felt harder talking about things. It was always different with Terry but there were a few weeks after they got back and they didn't talk at all and it just felt like he was drowning. Even after that, it was sparingly, so Grant just had assumed… that Terry just was something temporary till he fucked up, like The Hotties. And he could a thousand different times he probably fucked up around Terry Jr.

"I wouldn't say shit like that if I didn't mean it."

Grant tried to hide the fact that he was crying, he tried very hard. But his breathing had quickened and out of instinct, he wiped at his eyes. This didn't feel much like how he had felt before, this felt like a flood. Like all his fears and insecurities that had been gathering up were finally coming out and he felt so heavy and so  _ relieved.  _

Terry froze, he wasn't great at comforting people. The best he had done before was crying with his mom and hugging and affirming Ron. But he doubted that now was the time to talk, shit he didn't even know what the problem was. He didn't know where he hit Grant that made him react like this. But he didn't want to sit here watching him like a creep nor did he want to leave him all alone.

"I'm sorry I just--" Grant attempts to start but instead is interrupted by his own sob, and arms wrapping around him. He hates that his body won't let him do what he wants, he wants to talk to try and explain himself and to stop because he's not actually sad. Well he is but not in the way it looks and his heart feels so full and he wants to say thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. But he can't get a word out. 

So instead he just moves into the touch, grabbing onto Terry's hoodie. He doesn't know what he would do if he left. If he recoiled by his touch. 

Terry and Grant had spent a long time together. When they were kidnapped the first time they were the ones fighting the hardest, they were kicking and punching and distracting together. And Terry had spent many nights wondering why Grant wasn't in the castle with them, and when he was they spent nights talking about everything. They never got to the sensitive parts, they brushed over them in hushed whispers as the other slept close by. Deciding what they can and can't do in that horrible situation. And even though there were nights that Nick joined in or even the twins. It was never the same as it had been when it was just them. Terry was always the first person to fight back when they were particularly cruel to Grant and they had many conversations about fighting back or running away, but they never committed. 

Even after that, as they were hiding from Terry and the other's grandparents they made sure to stick together. In between Terry playing games with the kids and Grant and Nick reminiscing on the life they could have had here, they made sure if it all went to shit to turn to the other. There were a few nights where they got into it, where Grant talked about how he had a lack of feeling, and in return, in Terry's comfort, he told him a bit about his lost memories. And it was nice, not really trying to fix each other but still telling someone about it, and having someone not completely understanding but having the closest thing to it. 

So once they returned and there wasn't a single word exchanged between them, Grant thought he jumped the gun. That was a forgotten realms relationship, now they would be like they always had been. Earth friends who barely talked, but even then it was hard so he found himself shutting off and being unresponsive. And here he was now, crying into Terry's chest as he held him close. 

"I'm sorry, I just brought that stuff up because you said you were… putting yourself in situations that hurt you or the other person because… because you felt there. And like it did something and you suddenly did something that mattered. And I know it was harder towards the end, and I just… I don't want you hurting yourself. Grant I--" Terry paused, trying not to let his voice waver as he felt his own tears fall down his face. "I used to do that too. Hurt others to feel like what I mattered. And it felt good but it's not worth it. I know it's not as easy as just getting over it but… please, Grant. It's so much safer if you don't do it. And you'll like yourself so much more."

And it was hard, admitting that fully to Grant. Terry was sure he knew but... ever since the tower and his conversation with Ron it was harder to just talk about those things. To look someone in the eye and say that he used to push down any empathy he found himself having because he was so angry and so alone and so so sad. Terry didn't really have friends after his dad died, it was all a blur and he doubted he was fun to hang around. And sure, the thick of his anger was taken out on Ron, and sometimes it had the right reasons yet wrong execution, but that didn't make it something he liked. He didn't like that part of himself, and he really liked who he had been recent. He liked who he had been with and partly because of Grant. 

There was the time after he got back that he was just with his mom and they talked a lot about his dad and they visited family and they set him up for a therapist. And he just needed his mom. He needed his mom to hold him like she used to and sing songs to him and to cry with him. It ripped his heart apart when he realized Ron wasn't temporary. As if she didn't care for dad anymore, as if he was out of their life so they could shape it around this new fake one. And without her  _ or _ his dad to hold him together it all festered and it burned. So when he got back and Ron was there for him, he loved him and he was proud of him. And when his mom was there ready to give all the advice and love in the world. He realized, finally with his autopilot off, that she never stopped caring, she just started healing, and Ron helped her with that. 

Terry started healing too, and his mom and stepdad helped him a shit ton, but getting that day to day progression. Being able to wake up and keep himself calm, being able to stop himself from giving in to impulses, being able to just smile and relax. Grant helped with all of that, he gave him someone outside of his family, someone who could just be… a friend. 

"So I get if you want to take some anger out while playing. The sport can be good for that, but there's a difference between playing for fun and playing for pain. And a lot of coaches know what that looks like, and even more faculty members won't stand for you doing it since there's a lot of people who get on a school's ass because there's a lot of injuries. Which is why I say, come join our school's, tell your parents you want to stick around and I'll help train you if you really really want to play and it'll be fun." 

Terry hopes his points come across, that he's not being passive-aggressive or pushing too hard. He's learned that he can be rude and selfish in many different ways even if it looks nice or the intention is good. And maybe he was being a bit selfish, wanting Grant to help him grow. But he wanted to help him grow. He wanted him to be happy and to shine endlessly bright. And maybe they could do that together. 

"You don't have to say you want to yet, but I want to be here. I don't think I can fix anything but… I'll listen, I'll relate, and be here. If you let me." 

Terry held him a bit closer, moving his arm away from him for one moment to wipe the tears off his cheek. Once he moved his arm back he started rubbing circles into his back. Their position was a bit awkward, Grant's knees were up to his own chest and his shoulder and face were buried in the front of Terry's chest. Terry moved slightly nudging him closer.

Grant's breathing was becoming more like Terry's own pace, his hiccups becoming more occasional as they sit together. Something about how Terry found him so easily, it was calming. 

They weren't okay before, they weren't okay now. Terry wasn't sure they could ever be okay. But maybe they could be happy, after more time and more work. 

"Thank you."


End file.
